Nearly 1 week before Christmas, he said "Are we going to see Santa, or what?!" My 4 year old was anxiously awaiting something he started to think was never going to happen. It's always a challenge as a Mom and feeling like you have to be everything to everyone. Adding in on top of that a full time career and the potential to let something slip in your life becomes very likely.
I always used to vent to my BFF that I feel as if my life is like a triangle split into three major areas; professional, family, and personal. I generally find it impossible to devote an adequate amount of attention to all three areas at once. If I am doing great juggling my career and home life, I am neglecting myself. If I am taking care of myself and my family, work is suffering. It never fails.
Right before the holidays, I was so busy getting ready to go on vacation from work and worrying about what I needed to do to get ready for the holidays that my family was left back in the dust. It wasn't until the innocent words of a child reminded me that I needed to conciously focus my attention back on my family. I assured my son that we would definitely see Santa. When? was the next logical question. Hmmm, "I don't know" was all I could reply "but I do promise you we will see him before Christmas."
I keep thinking that one day, I'll get the hang of this Mommy thing. One day, I'm sure that everything will perfectly fall in line and be easy. But, that day never seems to come. I have to come to terms that I lost control of my own life about 4 years ago and now the driving force is this little person that I am now responsible to raise.
So reflecting on things like I normally do, I came to realize that maybe the key is to let go of how my life "used to be" and embrace my new reality. A reality where Santa visits don't happen until 5 days before Christmas and sometimes the dishes or laundry don't get done right away. A reality where I can't always control what happens but I can control how I react to it.